Another email forward:
Women are like apples: the best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy to get...
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Share this with the women you know who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!
Now, men, on the other hand, are like a fine wine: they begin as grapes - but! - it's up to a woman to stomp the sh*t out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Received recently in email (a ubiquitous forward):
Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Gained weight.
2) Talked excessively without making sense.
3) Became overly emotional.
4) Couldn't drive.
5) Failed to think rationally.
6) Argued over nothing.
7) Had to sit down while urinating.
8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary.
Derogatory to women, yes, but well within the bounds of acceptable humour (imo).
