Michael's phone was used yesterday- - -So! I think I need to throw some hints about getting spending under control. I want to see some effort to find an apartment. The motel is killing me. There has been a definite shift in my feeling about this relatiionship. Michael better make some moves to take care of it. It is nice that the Rockies are in the World Series. It should give the Dust Devils so much more clout. I wonder if Jason VanKooten is excited - and I liked two other players but their names escape me now.

How could I have been prepared for today. Katie called me about three fifteen and said that Michael was dead he had killed himself. I was in total shock and still sort of feel that way. I finished work and went home and contacted Annie and when I talked to Mikey he wanted me to come to Portland tonight which I did.

It is sort fucking sad the family is doing nothing and he sounds like they would just donate the body to science or something. MIkey would like him cremated so he could scatter the ashes around. I got an email from Michael's Mom. Tomorrow we have to go through the stuff at the Motel and decide what to do. I am not looking forward to any of this but it has to be done. I guess it is the last thing I can do for him.