The big dilemma today will be what direction to jump with Katie. I really feel that I should try to smooth the situation over. I will lose Mikey altogether if I get too heavy with her. I have texted her to talk to me. I think she should know that I could cut off the TriMet and the phone. I would also send some money monthly for Mikey’s welfare but I would have to be able to see him without a lot of bullshit. I guess she should have a chance to make a choice in the situation. I don’t want to get into a situation like Michael when she was calling the shots and make me jump through hoops. I guess if she wants to back out altogether I could do it without a very deep depression. I may try to talk to her tonight when I call Mikey. First I need to find out whether he wants me to keep calling him and next she should know that I am not just keeping the shit flowing in her direction without something in return.

I wrote to Michael’s mom and she did not have much to say except that I did not owe Michael or Mikey anything and that I should do what I thought was best. I am still mulling that over. I have been thinking of what to say this evening and if I should plan to go to Portland and pay Mikey a visit. I would hate to make the trip down there and have Katie duck out some place to teach me a lesson. I don’t think she is above it. I just wished I had someone else to use my energy on. This just seems such a waste. I guess in some ways I would like to be off the hook and just drift away. I am really pretty much undecided at the moment. I sort of jump from one side to the other without much reason.

This about says it all:

Cool 27 as I write-

No problem with the check sign his name and yours underneath and put in your account. The banks don't pay much attention one way or the other unless there is a complaint.

Well, I was rehearsing all day what I was going to tell Katie tonight. You know how Irishmen tend to be. I had a flat tire after work in the dark but some of the guys brought up a front end loader and helped me out. Anyway my mood was not particularly light and airy in anticipation of the holiday. I was home about ten minutes and Mikey called me happy as a lark and just bubbling over because he had received a card I sent him on Sunday. It had a dog and some lovey stuff that really got him plus a couple of bucks he is going to save. He was full of all kinds of information. Finally I asked him if I could talk to his mom and he said just minute I want to tell you something else about my helicopter. It only flies about a foot off the ground.

Anyway Katie finally  gets on and bull crap would have melted in her mouth. I asked her if I was making a pest of myself , etc. etc. Of course, not it was very important that i become an integral part of Mikey's life - in fact Michael would have wanted that. She goes on about listening to one of Michael's CD's and got a hug from him that she had really been needing today. She asked me if I knew how huggable he was - I said yeah I did. I told her I would help with supporting Mikey but I wanted to make sure he and I spent time together or it was not going to work. No problem, she had passes to things I could take Mikey to any time I was in town. She said she could take all the help she could get - surprise, surprise! In fact, she had given her food stamp card with $250 on it to Jonah and he had gotten arrested and she had lost her card. She had been "borrowing" food from a cousin she was working for. Hmmmmmmmm. I said I would be in Portland this weekend and I would swing by and see Mikey. She said just give us a heads up so we'll be`here.

Did she wrap me around her finger or did I show her`where the bear ate the cabbage???? She was very`emphatic that Mikey looked forward to my daily calls`and that it was important to keep them going. So`tomorrow is another day. I hope all my good friends in`Grants Pass have a very Happy Thanksgiving.

"Keep your head up and a smile on your face"

Later

Patr