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It looks like a rainy day. Nothing of importance on the agenda. We will just have to see what develops. There may be about five containers and then I am not sure what is on the docket. There might be something for GFE later. I need to get the letter and pictures out to Joel. It will be interesting to see if Mikey will give me a call again today.  I am not sure about MM – I really don’t have that much to say today.

A real kick in ther nuts this afternoon when I got an email from Annie pretty well telling me that I was not to try to see Mikey every weekend from here on out. In fact it sounded like I should disappear into the sunset. I sent an email back and it had some thorns but I think there was enough sugar there to may be keep things going. MM thought it was a”beautiful” response. The jury is still out.

This weekend I am taking Mikey on the train to Eugene, just so you know, he will not be available not even on Sunday afternoon or evening.  Thanks for spending alot of time with him and putting out such an effort to be available for him.  We appreciate you for everything you have done. 

Katie really is doing alot better and Mikey is responding well in everyway.  It is very important that she spends alot of time with him. 

The ordeal with Mike threw us all for a loop and it has been rough for everyone but life must go on.

Sorry if you are not able to see Mikey as much as you would like but we have other family members who like to see him on the weekends too.  He has 4 uncles, a grandpa, a great-grandpa, a great-grandma on Katie's side of the family who are wanting to see him. Katie has been very busy working some odd jobs during the week and trying to get on her feet..so she needs time with Mikey on the weekends too.

I believe most grandparents see their grandkids once in awhile..not every weekend so that is something that is to be expected. Mikey's other family doesn't even see him half as much as they would like..so please be understanding that we will be arranging visits for them as well.  Please do not pressure Katie about it because she has a low stress level as it is. 

I send this with the best of intentions and you are not obligated to do anything for him or Katie for that matter whether you see him or not.  I guess Katie got the impression that you did not want to send money and things if you weren't able to see him each weekend.  We do not expect anything from you other than your friendship.

Thanks again for everything,

Annie

Thank you for letting me know that Mikey will not be available this weekend. It does help to know your intentions in advance.

I am not sure what prompted the remainder of your communication. I am not offended by any part of it, however, I want you to know anything I have done for Mikey, or any of his relatives, has been done on the behalf of Michael Cushman – and I consider no part of it an ordeal or obligation. I am not sure anyone should be able to determine what contributions are appropriate and sufficient. And I intend to continue making contributions, as I am able.

I am not sure that the length of time spent with Mikey is maybe as important as the quality of that time. I understand that Mikey has other relatives and needs to see them from time to time. I am sure if they made the effort they could probably see him much oftener. I guess that the visits by other relatives are determined by who wants to and who is willing to make the effort. I do have the inclination and the time to spend time with him and I consider it to be a privilege and a pleasure to be allowed to do so. I feel that in my insignificant way I have somewhat filled a void in Mikey’s life.

I think we have developed an unusual and solid relationship that benefits us both. I also feel that to terminate that relationship could have real negative consequences at this time in Mikey’s life since it would be one more male no longer available – sic. His dad. I would think that it is important that we maintain some consistency in my friendship with Mikey, Katie and you. I am not suggesting that we must spend every week-end together and never have - except that it was something that Mikey wanted and seemed to be a way to motivate him.

I guess that we all perceive things and events from our point of view. My intention is and has been to make life easier and better for Katie. I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for her. I thought about her as I drove home Sunday. When I saw her standing in the kitchen doorway that night, my heart really went out to her. She really looked sad and rather forlorn and I wished there was some way I could make her happy and more content. I would guess that her happiest time in life was as a teenage with Michael – may she be so fortunate to somehow regain some of that some day soon.

Please do not drive me out of Mikey’s life. I understand I am not a grandparent but  I have spent my life helping children in all ways and I would appreciate continuing to be part of his and your life.

Love to all