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Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived.

THE ANGEL OF THE EAST- I PURIFY MY MIND BY AFFIRMING MY WORTH AND HONORING MY CHOICES FOR LOVE. THIS ANGEL CAN HELP ME TO ACCEPT MY FEELINGS, OPEN MY HEART AND FEEL SAFE TO EXPRESS MYSELF AND MY INNER MOST FEELINGS.

"Just remember, man gives the award. But God gives the reward."

Be gracious to me, O God, for people trample on me; all day long foes oppress me; my enemies trample on me all day long, for many fight against me. O Most High, when I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I am not afraid; what can flesh do to me?
All day long they seek to injure my cause; all their thoughts are against me for evil. They stir up strife, they lurk, they watch my steps. As they hoped to have my life, so repay them for their crime; in wrath cast down the peoples, O God!
You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your record? Then my enemies will retreat in the day when I call. This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the LORD, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I am not afraid. What can a mere mortal do to me?
My vows to you I must perform, O God; I will render thank offerings to you. For you have delivered my soul from death, and my feet from falling, so that I may walk before God in the light of life. Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity. Be fair in thy judgment, and guarded in thy speech. Be a lamp unto those who walk in darkness, and a home to the stranger. Be eyes to the blind, and a guiding light unto the feet of the erring. Be a breath of life to the body of humankind, a dew to the soil of the human heart, and a fruit upon the tree of humility.

I am still feeling somewhat down from that experience yesterday. I am not sure what I expected. It just seems so out of control that I cannot seem to get what I am hoping for and what is really happening together. I think my messages to MM have sort of been dumb and at best hair-brained. I may be over-dramatizing the whole situation. I really need someone close by to interact with. I think the “Mikey thing” is just too far remote without control and in all likelihood the love is not really reciprocated.